Rebuilding a Life: A Journey Through Trauma, Service, and Healing
20th November 2025
Army Veteran John shares his journey through trauma, recovery, and life with PTSD Assistance Dog Lulu.
Please tell us some background on your time in the Army and Police.
I joined the Army in 1988. I was very fortunate, I didn’t want to become a regular soldier. Therefore, I applied to the Royal Army Veterinary Corps (RAVC), a specialist unit responsible for providing, training, and caring for military working animals, primarily dogs and horses for the field army. I remained in the RAVC for almost four years, during my time in the military the two deployments I was involved with were providing military dogs for service in Northern Ireland and Operation Desert Shield (the first Gulf War).
Following my time in the army, I joined The British Transport Police (BTP), a national specialist force responsible for policing the railway networks across England, Wales, and Scotland. Over the course of 15 years, I served in various roles within the BTP, including uniformed and undercover operations, as well as working as a crime prevention officer. My intention was to serve as a police officer for the full 25 years. However, I was widowed in my early 30s, which left me solely responsible for caring for my children, who were 6 and 3 years old at the time.
Upon returning to work, I joined the Civil Service at the Home Office. Initially, I served as the Crime Reduction Advisor for Transport in London, a role which included responsibilities for the morgue established following the 7/7 terrorist bombings in 2005. This position led to my involvement with the Security and Counter Terrorism (OSCT) team at the Home Office.
When were you diagnosed with PTSD?
My mental health issues significantly surfaced after my wife passed away in 2002. It has only been in recent times, through seeking treatment, that I have begun to fully understand this. That period was incredibly challenging, as my wife fell ill when our children were just 2 and 5 years old. Our eldest daughter was born extremely prematurely, three months early, and weighed only 1 lb 13 oz. She had ongoing medical problems and remained a patient at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital until she was six. Our younger daughter was still a baby when my wife was in hospice care.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was also carrying traumatic memories from my service in the Military but more significantly the Police and incidents experienced on the London Underground. Instead of seeking help after my wife’s passing, I turned to alcohol as a form of self-medication. I took a brief two-week hiatus from work. Upon returning, I transitioned from the Police to the Home Office, which eventually led me to a role in counter-terrorism, bringing its own set of traumatic experiences.
Following my time in the army, I joined The British Transport Police (BTP), a national specialist force responsible for policing the railway networks across England, Wales, and Scotland. Over the course of 15 years, I served in various roles within the BTP, including uniformed and undercover operations, as well as working as a crime prevention officer. My intention was to serve as a police officer for the full 25 years. However, I was widowed in my early 30s, which left me solely responsible for caring for my children, who were 6 and 3 years old at the time.
Upon returning to work, I joined the Civil Service at the Home Office. Initially, I served as the Crime Reduction Advisor for Transport in London, a role which included responsibilities for the morgue established following the 7/7 terrorist bombings in 2005. This position led to my involvement with the Security and Counter Terrorism (OSCT) team at the Home Office.
When were you diagnosed with PTSD?
My mental health issues significantly surfaced after my wife passed away in 2002. It has only been in recent times, through seeking treatment, that I have begun to fully understand this. That period was incredibly challenging, as my wife fell ill when our children were just 2 and 5 years old. Our eldest daughter was born extremely prematurely, three months early, and weighed only 1 lb 13 oz. She had ongoing medical problems and remained a patient at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital until she was six. Our younger daughter was still a baby when my wife was in hospice care.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was also carrying traumatic memories from my service in the Military but more significantly the Police and incidents experienced on the London Underground. Instead of seeking help after my wife’s passing, I turned to alcohol as a form of self-medication. I took a brief two-week hiatus from work. Upon returning, I transitioned from the Police to the Home Office, which eventually led me to a role in counter-terrorism, bringing its own set of traumatic experiences.
By 2023, everything reached a breaking point, and I found myself unable to continue working. Consequently, I was medically discharged from the Home Office. Throughout this period, I continued to self-medicate with alcohol. However, in December 2023, I stopped drinking and was diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) in July 2024.
How did it feel after diagnosis?
Upon receiving my diagnosis, I felt an immense sense of relief. For years, I had been plagued by confusion about my behaviour and the self-destructive patterns I seemed to follow, which caused harm to those around me. The diagnosis provided clarity and a path forward. It allowed me to understand my condition, start addressing it, and work on healing myself and my relationships.
How did the symptoms of PTSD affect you?
My symptoms were complex, and when combined with excessive alcohol consumption, I became volatile and unpredictable, much like a real Jekyll and Hyde character. I was unpleasant and nasty, not someone you would want to be around. I became hypervigilant and distrusting of others. I also suffered from flashbacks and avoided certain places. I continue to experience nightmares, unwanted memories of incidents, and anxiety. I isolated myself from family and friends and often described in detail the events I had witnessed, which was wrong and inappropriate, I just didn’t see that. I couldn’t relax and was constantly on the go. I had difficulty experiencing positive emotions and felt undeserving of happiness. Additionally, I struggled with concentration and memory. Overall, life was difficult for me, and I made it difficult for those around me.
Before finding Service Dogs UK, had you tried therapies and other routes to help your PTSD?
Before my PTSD diagnosis, I was unaware that I had the condition. I only knew that I had developed an issue with alcohol, but I didn’t realise it was due to self-medicating for so long, which resulted in having two problems to tackle. I had to address the alcohol issue before I could deal with any mental health concerns.
To manage my alcohol problem, I engaged with the services of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and SMART Veterans, which supports veterans and emergency services personnel struggling with alcohol and drug issues. I also underwent Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. As part of my recovery, I worked with Change Grow Live, a local alcohol and drug support service, who funded a three-month inpatient rehabilitation stay at Tom Harrison House (THH), the only Military and Blue Light rehabilitation centre in the country.
During my treatment at THH, the therapy staff first suggested that I was exhibiting signs of PTSD and recommended seeking a psychological assessment upon my discharge. It was also at THH that one of my peers suggested exploring the possibility of an assistance dog, for which I will always be grateful. Shortly after my discharge from THH I received my formal clinical diagnosis of Complex PTSD.
How did you feel about starting training?
The application process for SDUK is rightly thorough, which means it takes some time from the initial contact to selection. Following this, there is an additional wait to be paired with a suitable dog. During this period, I experienced a range of emotions, including excitement, frustration, and anxiety, to name just a few. When the time finally came to begin, I was both nervous and eager. Throughout the process, the staff were exceptionally professional and patient, even though I can be persistently annoying. I couldn’t wait to get started.
How did you find the training process? Did you start to gain confidence and feel positive through the training?
I thoroughly enjoyed the training experience. The entire team were exceptional, making it wonderful to learn new skills and bond with Lulu. Observing candidates further along in their training journey gave me a glimpse of what to expect in the upcoming weeks and months.
Having worked with dogs during my time in the army, I initially worried that my previous experience might negatively impact my training with SDUK, given the different approach between the two. However, the training team were incredibly supportive and helped me navigate these challenges.
Lulu, being an incredibly intelligent and responsive dog, made the training an absolute joy. Her intelligence and responsiveness fostered a positive atmosphere throughout the training, benefiting both of us. We seemed to thrive on this positivity, enjoying and supporting each other every step of the way.
How did you find the training process? Did you start to gain confidence and feel positive through the training?
I thoroughly enjoyed the training experience. The entire team were exceptional, making it wonderful to learn new skills and bond with Lulu. Observing candidates further along in their training journey gave me a glimpse of what to expect in the upcoming weeks and months.
Having worked with dogs during my time in the army, I initially worried that my previous experience might negatively impact my training with SDUK, given the different approach between the two. However, the training team were incredibly supportive and helped me navigate these challenges.
Lulu, being an incredibly intelligent and responsive dog, made the training an absolute joy. Her intelligence and responsiveness fostered a positive atmosphere throughout the training, benefiting both of us. We seemed to thrive on this positivity, enjoying and supporting each other every step of the way.
Did training with like-minded people at the sessions help you?
Being part of SDUK has become a significant component of my recovery journey. My time with the SMART Veterans recovery programme and at Tom Harrison House, where I spent three months with individuals who share similar backgrounds, has been incredibly supportive. Likewise, training with my peers at SDUK has provided the same sense of camaraderie and shared understanding. In both settings, having a common background and a shared goal made conversations and connections come naturally.
While it’s inevitable that you won’t get along with everyone you meet, I found unwavering support from my peers, and I’ve formed lasting friendships through this experience, hopefully with some of my peers and some of the training team as well.
How did working with Lulu make you feel?
I cannot find enough positive adjectives to describe how I feel. Happy, proud, joyful, fortunate, content, confident, satisfied, complete, buoyant – the list goes on. Lulu has profoundly impacted my life, and I absolutely love working with her. She means the world to me, and I am deeply grateful to SDUK for giving me this wonderful opportunity.
What does Lulu bring to your life?
Lulu is instrumental in my healing process, acting as a crucial piece in the puzzle of rebuilding my life. Although I am still in the early stages of my recovery journey after enduring prolonged hardship and causing significant damage and chaos to my loved ones and those around me. Having Lulu by my side is helping me mend relationships I once thought irreparable. She has brought more into my life than I ever anticipated or hoped for. Her presence brings immense joy, and she has undeniably improved my life. I cherish every moment with her as part of my family.
Having Lulu has motivated me to go outside more often. Previously, I needed a specific reason or goal to take a walk; I wouldn’t do it simply for the sake of exercise. Now, having Lulu provides the perfect motivation to get out.
Lulu also accompanies me to my volunteering commitments with AA and Smart Veterans meetings. I plan to take her with me when I visit THH, hoping that her presence will inspire others in their recovery journeys.
What does Lulu now mean for you?
When I first started this journey with SDUK, my intention was to have my assistance dog accompany me back to work at the Home Office. Unfortunately, the timing of the application process and my employment at the Home Office did not align.
However, I’m not concerned about this. I’ve come to realise that I’m still in the early stages of my recovery, and returning to work at that time would have been a mistake. Having Lulu with me now means I can take the necessary time to rebuild my life. I have a tendency to rush things or take on too many responsibilities at once. Therefore, I want to slow down and truly enjoy my time with Lulu, so we can take care of each other and grow in confidence together.
Let’s not forget that Lulu is a rescue dog, and I am grateful for the opportunity to bond with her and support one another.
Do you feel more confident going forward in life with Lulu by your side?
Moving forward in life with Lulu by my side fills me with confidence. Seeking support from SDUK has undoubtedly been one of the best decisions I’ve made in a very long time. The training we’ve undergone together and the bond we’ve formed have truly transformed my life. I genuinely believe this experience has saved my life.
Having a PTSD support dog like Lulu is incredible. Her unconditional love makes my heart soar, and my life is immensely better with her in it. Words cannot fully express the happiness she brings me.
Along this journey, I’ve met some wonderful people and, despite the challenges, I would highly recommend this path to others. The SDUK motto, ‘saving two lives at once,’ rings especially true for Lulu and me.
What does Lulu now mean for you?
When I first started this journey with SDUK, my intention was to have my assistance dog accompany me back to work at the Home Office. Unfortunately, the timing of the application process and my employment at the Home Office did not align.
However, I’m not concerned about this. I’ve come to realise that I’m still in the early stages of my recovery, and returning to work at that time would have been a mistake. Having Lulu with me now means I can take the necessary time to rebuild my life. I have a tendency to rush things or take on too many responsibilities at once. Therefore, I want to slow down and truly enjoy my time with Lulu, so we can take care of each other and grow in confidence together.
Let’s not forget that Lulu is a rescue dog, and I am grateful for the opportunity to bond with her and support one another.
Do you feel more confident going forward in life with Lulu by your side?
Moving forward in life with Lulu by my side fills me with confidence. Seeking support from SDUK has undoubtedly been one of the best decisions I’ve made in a very long time. The training we’ve undergone together and the bond we’ve formed have truly transformed my life. I genuinely believe this experience has saved my life.
Having a PTSD support dog like Lulu is incredible. Her unconditional love makes my heart soar, and my life is immensely better with her in it. Words cannot fully express the happiness she brings me.
Along this journey, I’ve met some wonderful people and, despite the challenges, I would highly recommend this path to others. The SDUK motto, ‘saving two lives at once,’ rings especially true for Lulu and me.
